8/16/2022 by Dr. Nicole Ruggiano, PhD, MSW
Caregiving can be a time intensive activity, and caregiving needs can sometimes be unpredictable. That can pose a lot of challenges for caregivers, who are often also full-time workers and have other family responsibilities. Even though most caregivers are happy that they are able to care for their loved one, caregiving can still be exhausting.
How often do you feel tired at the end of the day? You are not alone! According to a recent study by the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, among caregivers of older adults:
- On average, caregivers of older adults provide more than 22 hours of care each week.
- Sixty-two percent of caregivers were employed and the average employed caregiver worked 35.8 hours per week.
- One in four caregivers of an older adult provides care to multiple adults.
- Twenty-nine percent of caregivers reported that managing the care recipient’s finances was time consuming.
- The majority of caregivers (67%) have no paid help for caregiving.
Time Management Tips for Caregivers
Have Reasonable Expectations
As caregiving duties become more intense, caregivers are more likely to feel overwhelmed and even be down on themselves when they aren’t able to “do it all.” In my experience in interviewing caregivers, many report feeling stressed and depressed that they cannot complete all of the tasks they would like to do over the course of a day or week. If you are feeling like this, ask yourself if it is reasonable to complete all of the tasks you are trying to complete on a day-to-day basis.
If you aren’t sure if you are being reasonable with yourself, here is an exercise I often ask caregivers to do. Imagine that someone close to you – a friend or family member – recently came to you because they have taken on the role of caregiver to someone they care about. This close friend or family member is distraught because they are trying to juggle all of the same things that you have been juggling lately. They are feeling depressed and ashamed that they cannot complete all of their tasks in a day or week. What advice would you give him or her?
Delegate Specific Tasks to Specific People
In social psychology, there is a phenomenon called the bystander effect. Essentially, when a group of people observe someone in need of help, many people fail to offer to help because they make the assumption that someone else will do it. This YouTube video provides an explanation an demonstration of this phenomenon. Oftentimes, I hear caregivers say, “I have family and friends who offer to help, but no one really does anything to help me.”
Sometimes, people will offer to help us when we are in need, but if we do not tell them specifically what we need from them or when we need their help, they may not follow up. They may also feel that when they do not hear from you about specific things you need help with that other family members or friends have filled in to support you.
One suggestion to help overcome the bystander effect is to be specific with friends and family members about what they can be helpful with. For instance:
- “Thank you for offering to help! Would it be possible for you to come to my house twice each month so I can go grocery shopping without having to take Mom with me?”
- “It’s been difficult going to church service since your Dad has had difficulty with leaving the house. Would it be possible for you to come and have lunch with him one Sunday each month so I can go to church service and do some of the volunteer activities there that I haven’t been able to do?”
- “Sometimes when I’m trying to do housework or pay the bills, your father starts following me around the house and getting into the paperwork I’m trying to review. Do you think you can come over on Thursday or Friday and watch a movie with him while I get some things done around the house?”
- “Can you be in charge of filling Mom’s prescriptions when she needs them? That would be one less trip I have to make to the store.”
Sometimes caregivers find that it is easier to find someone to provide financial support for care needs, rather than provide hands-on assistance. For instance:
- “Here is a list of care supplies I have to buy for your father every month. Would you be able to help by purchasing these on Amazon and having them sent to us monthly? That would save a trip to the store.”
- “It has been difficult to leave the house to do errands every month. I have found an agency that will send an aide to the house for four hours per month. Would you be willing to cover the cost so I can get other things I need taken care of?”
Adjust How Tasks are Done
You may be used to completing daily tasks a certain way. For instance, you may have always cooked from scratch, go grocery shopping every week, or go to the mall or store to buy things you need. Consider how making alterations to these activities could save you time. For instance, buying more prepared foods at the store can save you time from cooking. Having groceries delivered can save you an hour or more. Purchasing clothes and other non-food needs on the internet can save you time, as well. Another example might be signing up for direct deposit where you can reduce the number of times you have to go to the bank during the month. Sometimes such adjustments may feel like “cheating,” but after time you may realize that you have less stress in trying to complete these errands.
Make Lists and Prioritize
When there are so many things that need to be done that you become overwhelmed, sometimes making a list and prioritize them can help make you feel like your to-do list is more manageable. For example, if you list five tasks that you need to do in the near future but only three of them need to be completed today, that takes the pressure off from doing things that can be put off until later without consequences. AARP suggests that you even divide tasks into categories of what you need to do, what you may need to do, and what you want to do. In my own experience, I make a list every day on a post-it note and cross off tasks as they are complete. At the end of the day, anything I didn’t complete goes onto the post-it note for the next day.
Explore Technologies that May Save Time
Technology has advanced incredibly over the past decade and there are many software programs and apps that can be used to save time. Some caregivers may feel intimidated in using new technologies. However, with some guidance from fiends, family members, and providers, they may find that they are easier to navigate once they have tried a few times. Here are some examples of technologies that can save time:
- Patient portals: Most health care providers offer access to a patient portal to patients and their care partners. These portals can save time for activities that typically require multiple calls to the doctor’s office. For instance, many portals have options where you can send request prescription refills and ask questions about care plans. There is no need to wait on hold and you do not have to worry that the provider will return your call at a time you cannot answer.
- Pharmacy Apps: Many mainstream pharmacies (e.g., Walgreens, CVS, Costco) today offer smartphone apps where you can review lists of prescriptions, refill prescriptions, and receive notice when a prescription is ready to pick up. This can save time in calling the pharmacy and also minimize wasted trips to the pharmacy when a prescription isn’t ready for pick-up yet.
- Delivery Apps: Apps for services that offer delivery were available before the pandemic, but COVID-19 made them essential for many families. Companies, such as Shipt* and Instacart will deliver groceries from a variety of stores you already may shop at. Many restaurants have made it easier to order food for takeout and delivery, which can help save time shopping and cooking.
- Digital Calendars: Many smartphones come with calendar apps that may help support keeping schedules organized. Also, online calendars, such as Google Calendar, can be securely shared with others to help with coordinating with others more efficiently.
Make Time for Self-Care
Many caregivers tell me that they don’t have time to care for themselves. It’s often hard to explain to them how important self-care is for providing the best care for their loved one. It’s similar to the instructions that flight attendants give you before taking off on a plane, “If the oxygen masks are released during an emergency, put your own mask on before helping others.” Finding ways to better manage our time is more difficult when you are in crisis mode. Managing your expectations and asking for help can be instrumental in keeping you grounded, organized, and feeling more in control of your life.
Want to read more?
AARP’s Time Management for the Caregiver can provide more information about time management strategies.